Rykrof Enloe Chapter 30 - ELIMINATION

[jediknutt]

Where to start. This chapter was amazing! Absolutely perfect. I've been a huge fan since the first panel of the first chapter and I hope it goes on and on and on. At first I thought the Jedi duel was becoming predictable...then Bassius gets shot in the back and I realized oh wow, this is Order 66. How freakin cool! What a great way to bring that in. Completely unexpexcted. Throughout the story I was laughing one minute and practically on the edge of my seat the next. What a cliff hanger. I'm glad you avoided using scenes from the movie. Like you said, we all know what happened there. They just get better and better. This really had the feel of Star Wars. It was better than most episodes of the Clone Wars I've seen and I actually like that show. Keep them coming for many more chapters.

[YAK_Den]

AHHHH! Dude you can't leave us like that!!! LOL!

Very good job Chewie! Once again you did not disappoint!

Can't wait for 31 but I know you deserve a much needed break!

[mercuryartstudios]

Cant wait buddy!! nice chapter and awesome way to introduce order 66 well played sir.

[LT BRYLL]

nice work . Great to see these characters come to life again .

[Docoutlands]

I haven't had my coffee yet, so this will be shorter than it deserves...but hopefully coherent...

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bloody well-done!! The outdoor pics *look* a lot more like outdoor pics now! Great storyline, OUTSTANDING pacing, wonderful photography and effects. I figure I'll be back around in the next day or so to reread, review, and make more comments. I wish there was some way you could make money doing this, because you should be benefiting from this level of devotion and commitment - and skill.

[YAK_Chewie]

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the nice comments. I kind of took the weekend off from forum activity, and am amazed by the great feedback from everyone. I'll reply to each of you in the coming days with appreciation for your feedback as well as answer any questions I may have missed.

I also recieved a few PMs about this chapter and an email too - I'll be getting back with you guys as well.

Thanks again!

[YakPurge]

Chapter 1 and beyond buddy. Hard to believe your all the way up to #30 plus the redo's.


? on your post Rykrof work, ever thought of teaming up with some of the others on the boards? Collaboartive effort. Someone does effects, another does story/dialogue, another does photography. Might make it easier/faster. I'm sure there's a certain amount of pride that goes into all the work you do, but also the frustration on the time it must take to put it all together must be maddening. Maybe just try it for a miniseries on one of your background characters just to see how well it works, just a suggestion.

[YAK_Chewie]

The plot... really, I am extremely glad that so far it seems to meet approval of everyone. I realize there are different directions I could have taken this, and there's probably some opinions that I should have approached this differently. I am open to hearing those ideas as well if anyone has any. Ultimately I felt this was the way to go, but at the same time there's still much more to tell with Order 66 in the coming chapters... like how Rykrof will react.

Will he question the order or follow it? Will he become an agent of the Empire? Is he even the main character when it's all said and done? What's going to happen with the Badoo Corba and General Snodd - does Rykrof even have enough troops to pull this mission off?

All that is still something that is continuing to evolve as I get further into this somewhat insane process.

Again, thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it very, very much.

My questions concerning Rykrof is not being a Clone will he help the Duros Jedi, or will the Jedi die before his eyes? I really like the Duros Jedi by the way!! Will Rykrof become an enemy of the state? Will Freelo actually make it to the ship with the Clone? Also, Freelo's statement of "I'm too important" kind of has me wondering, but maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Many questions to answer in the next chapter!! Great job.

Jason

That's a point that I'm really still working out for Chapter 31. I do know how Rykrof will ultimately react to what has happened, but how he gets to that point is still very much open right now.

Does he follow the order? If so, does he shoot the Duros Jedi himself?

Or will Rykrof try to save his friend and turn on his own troops? Will he try to reason with them and get arrested or shot?

Perhaps he wavers on the decision and sees his friend get killed before his eyes?

I'm going to have to get this figured out before too long, but I have plenty to keep me busy in working on another diorama for the next chapter. So, I doubt I'll get into much script work for at least a month. Ideally I'd like to release Chapter 31 in early January, though that might be pushing things a bit.

As for Freelo, he's just being a goofball more than anything with that line. He thinks he's very important to Rykrof, which he is. That is what I meant for the character to really be implying.

Again, thanks for the feedback and thoughts. If you have anything you want to talk about on predictions on how Rykrof will react to Order 66, please don't hesitate to bring them up.

[YAK_Chewie]

Amazing. The word cannot do it justice, but it will have to do until I think of something more suiting.

Hey cheiwe, you wouldnt PM me the list of materials needed and the instructions to make that underground dungeons would you.

I certainly can... wasn't a whole lot to it really in terms of complexity (but it did take some time). Here's what I used:

- pink insulation foam from Home Depot
- utility knife (like an exacto blade)
- spackle
- paint

First, I cut the insulation foam into rectangles, and proceeded to sliced them up some to try and give them a rocky look. The appearance didn't look like I had hoped, so I then took the spackle and spread it onto the pieces. After it dried, I snapped a couple pics:





After that, I decided that I needed to make sure that once I painted them, there was a good dark base coat underneath the final paint. So I hand painted them all with acrylic black, Delta Ceramcoat brand. After each coat of black paint (2-3 coats each), I sprayed an acrylic sealer on them help seal the paint.



After that, I painted each wall a shade of brownish gray, and then dry brushed them to highlight all the textures. Then a black wash, a bit more dry brushing, a little more wash where needed, and finally fine detailing where I thought I could use some solid coloring.

Hope that helps some, and thanks for the feedback.

[blaster_e11]

wow one great chapter plus a tutorial , we're really lucky Justin

thank you for your work and dedication, this chapter is very cool the dramatic and gloomy feeling from the dungeon is just perfect, i love the sandy ground and the skrill creature. the customs are topnotch as always and i'm amazed by how your SFX skills increased over the years. it's a great read and i'm sure gonna read it some more times while waiting for the next chapter.

It's good to see you've managed to put boundaries to your work and make it match with the saga storyline. it's always hard not to stumble in a parallel universe when you keep on writing stories.

[Lance Quazar]

Chewie, this is another delightful chapter!

Both of the scenes end on fantastic cliffhangers, the momentum of the entire series just keeps building and building! Not to say there isn't some explosive release in this chapter, too. But you keep us on the edge of our seats, begging for more!

First, the Datoonine section -

There are some extraordinary dioramas in this chapter. The surface images are phenomenal. I know you said you bought the bunker section of ebay, which is terrific, but the rest is equally as impressive. Such an incredibly detailed and rich environment, even though we see it only in the prologue and nothing actually "happens" there.

That said, the image of seeing Fudda and General Snodd is definitely intriguing! Can't wait to see where that thread goes....

The dungeon set is terrific, thanks for sharing the creation process. I honestly had no idea that you built it from scratch like that, knowing the behind the scenes makes it all the more impressive.

The only nitpicks I would say is that maybe the color of the stones are a little too light and the whole scene could be just a smidgen darker, but I certainly understand why you don't want to risk it being too dark, especially since different monitors will show it differently.

There's some wonderfully snappy writing in this chapter, too. Drake disciplining the troops is very cool. Teltuu's 'Are you looking for me?" is great! (though I wonder why it takes so many panels for him to kill the guard. Should be pretty easy with a lightsaber! )

The Guard custom is terrific, btw, very creepy and intimidating.

Freelo returns in HIGH STYLE. Some of his funniest lines yet here. LOVED him hitting Rykrof with the branch! hee hee!

"Something ate him" was brilliant and I loved "too important to be left here." This is classic freelo! I definitely hope that Freelo, despite Rykrof's orders, will end up running to the rescue at some point in the next chapter or two....

Though this section of the chapter is largely set-up, it works very well and is extremely entertaining. Can't wait to see how it plays out, especially knowing that O66 is about to go down for all these folks. The ingredients are all set - Rykrof, Clones and a Jedi. What will happen? Where will everyone's loyalties lie and who will be left standing?

Many other intriguing bits, too, like seeing Snodd again and Rykrof's reference to the "familiarity" of the base - could it have something to do with his mother?

Can't wait to see the continuation!!!!


(comments about the second half in a separate post yet to come....)

[julianmaurice]

At last! the chapter is released and the wait is finally over.

You have spent ages working on this and it is still the most exciting production on the creative forums. Your images are all beautiful, the story moves with a perfect pace and your customs are always a highlight.

I really enjoyed reading this, even as a stand alone piece of work this is just wonderful.

A few words hardly seem to do this any justice. It's like eating the finest mature cheeses with 100 year old port...it takes ages to prepare but minutes to eat...But savour it I did!

An amazing feat.

[YAK_Chewie]

What can one say? Truly a masterpiece. Chewie you are the Mozart of photonovels. No joke.

The sets-- amazing. We've seen them before in your previews and all. One thing I didn't like was how obscured the dead clone was, I'd have liked to get a better look at him. I thought of mentioning it when you showed that frame in a preview before but I figured you'd show him off in another frame.

Customs-- they're everywhere, some made long ago, really nice to see them. All the Badoo Corba baddies, the droids, sweet! The one custom I hate is the Badoo Corba leader but that's because I really hate the character you based him off, it's well done otherwise.

Freelo-- I *love* Freelo. Hilarious banter with him. He was indeed in surprisingly good condition! Maybe they like to save lobster for a special occasion Steamed and dipped in butter I'm sure he's quite tasty!

Jedi showdown-- FANTASTIC. And the O66 part, wow! Awesome how the clones blow themselves up to accomplish their mission, truly unexpected, great! The clone commander w/out the skirt doesn't look good though imho

Photography-- you're the best, that's all

Effects-- very cool, subtle as always, doesn't dominate, great!

Once again as I was reading it I kept monitoring the scrollbar to see how far down I was on the page, dreading how soon it would end, and then it's worse when you realize that some of what remains is comments! Just such a treat to read these chapters, it's going to be agony once again to wait for the next chapter! What oh what is Rykrof gonna do when he gets the O66 order!!! Shhh please don't tell!!

Kudos!! And really, THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you very much my friend for the detailed review... makes me look at this from different angles that I otherwise would not see.

Regarding the sets, they certainly take a lot of time and I am in no way on par with a lot of other folks who share their stuff in the diorama section. But, considering most of what I make is intended to be backdrops for shooting photonovels, it works out well enough I think and I've found ways to make them work in my confined space that I use for my setups. It doesn't always turn out as well as planned though of course. And the effects, I certainly never try to overdo them partially because I don't have much skills in that area anyway and I easily get frustrated with them.

As for that dead clone, I took over 25 pics of it from different angles. Something about the ground being so light was reflecting terribly in my photos and I couldn't get it to turn out like I wanted, so I went with the best pic I had available. A bit regretful considering how much I love the figure, which is a custom I bought from Fritzkrieg a few years ago.

So you don't like Mubaas Fudda, eh? Maybe I need to kill him off, heh. And what character do you not like that he's based off of, Bib Fortuna? Not sure who you mean. As for the clone without the skirt, ironically he's my favorite of that group, lol. Just kind of wanted something a little "different" for that scene I guess as for the most part I like my clones without kamas.

I am very glad that you are okay with how Order 66 was presented here. I hope the timing was right, it's so hard to play out something so important to the saga without royally screwing it up.

Again, thank you for the feedback and I hope that Chapter 31 is as well received! Rykrof will certainly have to make a decision soon... I'm glad I haven't had to portray it yet because it is not going to be easy.

[Darth Kikinou]

So you don't like Mubaas Fudda, eh? Maybe I need to kill him off, heh. And what character do you not like that he's based off of, Bib Fortuna? Not sure who you mean.

Yah Bib Fortuna, I hate that guy

[YAK_Chewie]

The only thing that I don't like about him is this resemblance...