Moderators: YAK_Chewie, Yakface.com Staff

#85384
Very, very good work! I kind of enjoyed a shorter chapter given that most of the enviroment is in space... was nice to see after the brief entanglement, the pair "on their feet" so to speak. And the argument with their uncle was well done - you did you a good job with the dialogue and creating a sense of tension... only funny thing was, all three heads for these figures were from famous Rebel Pilots - kind of felt like an alternate life for Luke, Wedge and Biggs in a way... lol.

But really, I thought this was a great chapter. It was very well put together, and flowed great. Also the image work was spectacular.

Great stuff!

:wink:
#85389
Chewie, as always it is great to hear your opinion on this. I am having to cut few corners on this project, and things like the faces of the customs I'm not really proud of. I really don't know how you seem to get your figures looking so perfect even in close up...

That said, I'm really glad you liked this chapter...just one more chapter to go before things really start to hot up!!!
#85432
Oh, the faces are fine buddy. It just hit me when I saw those three together, how it reminded me of an off screen chat between the three of the characters in ANH before they attack the Death Star or something. Any my close ups are not anything I'm proud of... I wish I could get the quality that Drewton is able to capture with his photos.

:wink:
#85434
YAK_Chewie wrote:Oh, the faces are fine buddy. It just hit me when I saw those three together, how it reminded me of an off screen chat between the three of the characters in ANH before they attack the Death Star or something. Any my close ups are not anything I'm proud of... I wish I could get the quality that Drewton is able to capture with his photos.

:wink:


I guess we all have our strengths and weaknesses! Thanks Chewie, you are the eternal diplomat!
#85450
Just wanted to chime in and say you continue to do some really wonderful work with these.

The visual and layout is top notch.

If I can make one suggestion? Try using a different colored background for the narrative boxes than for the dialogue boxes. That might sound like an odd critique, but the first few times I looked at this one it appeared a little word-heavy so I just skimmed through the pictures.

Turns out I think your pacing between the text and images is fine, it just LOOKS like it has a "wall of text" in some spots, which made it a littler hard to convince myself to sit down and read.

I think if you had a visual cue to differentiate between what's being spoken by the characters and the narrative element, it would make the text LOOK a little less heavy.

Any of that makes sense?

The incorporation with the 3d elements is looking really great, keep up the fine work!
#85462
Dan,

I have a huge amount of respect for your work and I really appreciate your frank and honest feedback. It will be a shame to change format mid flow, but you suggestion makes perfect sense. I will impliment that tweak from the next chapter.

It's good to know that you are keeping an eye on me.

Jules
#85513
You know what's even more amazing than your work and talents?

Your awesome attitude.

Not everyone takes suggestions and ideas in such a positive manner... and you know what that does? It makes reading these even more enjoyable because you are open to ideas from your readers because we know that when we make a comment, you truly appreciate it. That says a lot as far as I'm concerned... especially coming from someone who is already a master at what you're doing.

:wink:
#85713
Nice little chapter, Jules, looking forward to things hotting up! I must say, your writing is exeptional! The dialogue is very natural, if you know what I mean. You make your charcters speak very realisticly which makes the character interactions all the more fun to read.
Again, great graphics, another thing you have a talent for! The way you mix real images with CG works very well!
I must say I'm really enjoying this photo novel, and I always look forward to new chapters!
Great work!
User avatar
By Incom
#89917
Excellent chapter, Jules! Dunari's Rest looks great and the skirmish between the Viraxo and the Azzameens looks pretty hectic. Not too sure about the Viraxo wearing Mando armour, but that's a minor gripe.

The scenes with Antaan and Eamon are indeed pretty tense and captured very well.

As always, great looking pictures that really set the great mood this story has!
User avatar
By julianmaurice
#89939
Incom, thanks for your comment, it really is great knowing that you are looking at this.

Re your comment about the Mando, I did a bit of homework on this...hear me out.

A little investigation found that the Pursuer is a Mandalorian ship design, and as he seems to be doing the Viraxo dirty work I have assumed that this guy is a Mandalorian mercenary...

There is a post on Wiki about X-Wing Alliance, you'll find it here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Star_Wars:_X-wing_Alliance. It lists all of the characters, races, ships, practically every little of the game is covered, you should take a look. it's been my resource for the comic.

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