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The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Tue Jan 13, 2015 1:59 pm

Thanks guys - I owe some more detailed responses on the latest feedback (which I really appreciate)...

I did want to show a comparison between my Rykrof custom and the TVC Han Solo... I was trying for a similar look, but had hoped I was changing it up enough. Here's a comparison:

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head - SAGA Endor Rebel
torso - TVC Bespin Han Solo
arms - TVC Bespin Han Solo
hands - fodder bin
holster - fodder bin
legs - TVC Rebel Fleet Trooper

I guess my differences on it may have fell short - thanks for the feedback and I'll definitely try harder next time.

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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Thu Jan 22, 2015 12:15 am

hemble wrote:WOW I started leave today and what an awesome way to start it. I just finished reading all 7 and can't wait to see the next one awesome work Chewie.

Ron


Thanks Ron, I really appreciate that.

Even more glad to know you read each of the chapters all in a row - that's awesome and makes me especially happy for someone to have the patience with my storytelling to take so much in at once!

Again, it truly means a bunch to me ---- thank you!

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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Sat Jan 31, 2015 11:35 pm

UKHistory wrote:Chewie,
There is so much to like about your photonovels. Artistically people can get a lot out of the custom sets, photography, your keen eye to mix and match parts, painting. But like you said all of that great visual skill is on display to tell a story. Lucas phoned in the prequels focusing on images and special effects and forgot about the heart that made Star Wars so special. You have kept the focus being the characters and I think your growth as a writer and story teller have grown through the story.


Sorry that it's taken me so long to respond to such a great set of feedback, I have been truly overwhelmed with work the past month!

I agree that Lucas focused much less on story - or at least telling the story effectively in the prequels. He did better with ROTS, I thought - a lot better. But he really didn't do what could have been a very compelling story in TPM justice, in my opinion.

I've tried to keep the characters the focus, especially Rykrof - but still let other characters have important roles (as much as possible, using toys, lol).


UKHistory wrote:And it is a fun story. In much the same way as Brian Dailey did, you have created characters and places that are on a parallel track that our favorite heroes are traveling on as well.

Thinking about Geere (sorry I did not spell his name right the first time; maybe the second) this story has shown his descent for a long time. Maybe with the holidays the family issues were especially gripping. I think it is the way you told the story more than anything. But it is so good. I have a sense of your time commitment to this project. What a labor of love. Any time I provide feedback on customs or stories I want to be honest, positive and constructive in my words. Even if something does not grab me, I want to respect the artist and his or her willingness to share what they have done.


It's Gere. Heh.

Yes, for a long time his character has grown darker and darker - I've tried to make it a slow journey for him. I want to explore that much deeper at some point - he will likely get 1-2 chapters somewhat soon where everything is focused on him.

Thanks for recognizing the time commitment too that these take. It's kind of ridiculous, to be honest... :oops:


UKHistory wrote:With your work, as you reminded me of how long this saga has been, it is just a joy. Your talent and dedication as the Enloe Chronicles have continued really inspire many of us to work on customs and share our own stories.


I really would not say I am that talented here, I just love doing it. I have wanted to tell stories and make movies since I was a kid. Obviously that never happened, so I'm doing something that I enjoy when I can with these. And I still get emails sometimes from people who aren't registered in the forums wanting to talk about the photonovels with me -- that is very cool for me. Just like getting comments here from friends in the hobby like yourself. :)


UKHistory wrote:More detail to come on the pieces, figures, lighting and the story. But many of us are invested in the characters. Can't wait for more but don't rush things. Take care of business and family and all the other things that are important.

Art is subjective and there is always someone out there with more of this or that. But you have created something really good. I compare it to Dailey's work because I really like what you have done. But you know what? You have created something and shared it with the world.

And that is great in and of itself. Take breath; take a bow and know your audience looks forward for more when your schedule permits.


Again, thank you. I won't rush things but I'll still try not to neglect working on these.


UKHistory wrote:Now to a few more details in my critique...

1) The photography of the feathered dinosaur is great. Just two shots but I like how we see him coming into focus and the shot where he trots away. Reminds me of a turkey I saw on my porch.


LOL, I just wanted to add some sort of "life" to the scene - when I saw that dino at TRU a while back, I bought it hoping someday I'd be able to sneak it into a story at some point. I think my daughter took it -- no idea where it is now.


UKHistory wrote:2) Enloe's outfit. A small criticism--I just see Han's torso. So often I see how you mix and match the pieces to create new figures. In this case, I see Han's torso from his Bespin outfit. Most of the time when I see your figures, your creations stand apart. This one loses a little because this specific torso really captures Harrison Ford's posture with the folds and the shirt and how the collar laid against the neck. That outfit for me is too iconic as Han's jacket and shirt. But that is minor. Geere's imperial outfit is different and stands out but not necessarily out of place--Patton was very flamboyant in his attire as a real life example. And I loved the version of Geere with the armor and cloth skirt (or what maybe better stated as the bottom of an imperial topcoat) which was one of my favorite designs for an imperial field officer.


No worries, that's generally the look I was going for on Rykrof there. I did give him a different set of legs and holster, and repainted the entire figure. But it's okay, he still looks very much like Bespin Han there. I kind of intended that because I think it's a nice look for Rykrof but after this outfit it will be something like he's never looked before - even a new hair style.

Image

And thanks on Gere's outfits, I try and make him a little different from the typical Imperial.


UKHistory wrote:3) I love the use of the pet environment stuff as part of the diorama. Backgrounds are fantastic. And I believe some of the rebel base is Empire's great work. Well done in using facades as the base. The layout of the planet is superb. Also we have multiple environments: Naboo, Star Destroyer, Dathormir, this new planet--forgive my spelling and not remembering all the planets names. That is very ambitious in terms of photographing but just fantastic to keep up a brisk pace in the storyline. I like how you mix what we have heard about from the movies and EU and merged them in with your own worlds. The greenery you used is wonderfully visually. I find them to be entirely too messy and with a distinctive smell I don't enjoy. I hope you are not experiencing those problems like I did.


Those pet enviro pieces work so good! I'm surprised more people don't use them.

You're right on the Rebel base - he made the pieces and I painted them - I could not be happier with his stuff!

Yep -- several environments. I think it's important, when posting a chapter with this many frames, to try and break it up some with different scenery. And those sets CAN be messy but I am gluing most of the vegetation (and dirt) down. It fortunately isn't messy after the glue sets. Then I just move the bigger pieces around depending on the scene.


UKHistory wrote:4) Dialogue as I have said. Need a lift? Fun, sardonic humor that was evident in the best moments of the trilogy.


Hah, thanks!


UKHistory wrote:5) Great customs of early rebels. I like those a lot. That about covers it for me. Thanks and can't wait to see more.


Again - thank you! I have more custom Rebels for the next chapter when the Empire arrives that I haven't shared yet.

And really, thank you SO much for your feedback. It means so much to me and I smiled the whole time reading it.

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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby UKHistory » Wed Feb 04, 2015 1:01 pm

Chewie,

Can't wait to see Enloe with a new hair style. That will be something indeed. That is going to be interesting to see what and how you do it.

I like your paint job on the Bespin han tosro. The blue is muted (maybe just my screen) and looks good.

Change the color of the coat more drastically or the shirt and it might not have been as noticeable to me. But that was a very fine/minor point for your consideration.

Keep it coming and thanks for all your work.
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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Feb 16, 2015 6:58 pm

UKHistory wrote:Chewie,

Can't wait to see Enloe with a new hair style. That will be something indeed. That is going to be interesting to see what and how you do it.

I like your paint job on the Bespin han tosro. The blue is muted (maybe just my screen) and looks good.

Change the color of the coat more drastically or the shirt and it might not have been as noticeable to me. But that was a very fine/minor point for your consideration.

Keep it coming and thanks for all your work.


After the next chapter is posted, I'll be able to show a sneak preview of what the next version of Rykrof looks like... :)

No worries on the Bespin jacket - maybe I should have kept it, but gave him different arms - it would have added a bit more variety and less of the Bespin Han feel.

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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:09 pm

JediMerc wrote:I had a chance to read this a few days after you originally posted the most recent chapter, but couldn't leave feedback at the time; didn't want to leave you hanging after such a tremendous effort in all areas. I apologize for possibly being repetitive here, as I did not read everyone's reviews before posting this...


Thanks for taking the time to read, and provide your thoughts - it's extremely appreciated!


JediMerc wrote:- I love that this was such a character-driven "episode". You've given readers such a great insight into these characters, but took it a bit further---emotionally---this time. This left me with the feeling that I had just watched TESB, it was that good from a characterization standpoint.


Wow, thank you, and yes, it's definitely intended to be character driven. The next one will be more action oriented.


JediMerc wrote:- I know this is probably not the case, but it just seemed like you expanded the number of custom characters (primary and background), outfits, and scenery than what has been typical of your storytelling of late. Variety in these areas is appealing to me personally, as I can shift my thoughts from one artistic aspect or piece of dialogue and ponder them (while allowing myself to fixate on the story being told a bit longer). The sardonic tone of the comments by Traedon, Freelo, and the droid (as they prepare for the droid's repairs) are classic SW humor. This was perfect comedic timing: each contributed to the dialogue meaningfully, but added the humor many expect from character interactions in the SW universe.


Thank you and I did pretty much make everything in this and recent chapters be a custom figure in some form or another. I feel that in order to tell my story, I need to do that and be as independent as I can with the characters, troops, etc.

Also glad you liked the dialogue you referenced, I did try and add in some typical SW humor from the OT era a bit for specific characters that I felt fitted their personalities.


JediMerc wrote:- I like how the custom doorways (Hole in the Ground Productions) and Empire's wooden diorama pieces were "showcased", but did not overwhelm the flow of the story and the interactions between the characters. The CW cannon looked quite well-weathered; I liked the oil/rust stains along its base. These little touches show what a master you are at scenery-building; there is as much of a story being told in the worn looks of the background pieces as there is between and among the characters you've created. Not an easy task, but you do a good---and steady---job of making the world you've created so very believable.


I really appreciate the feedback on the scenery, I always get so excited when other fans of the hobby make things that other fans can add to their collections! I know I'd struggle so much if not for being able to make purchases like these, and I still lean on the dioramas I bought from Owen Driscoll years ago. That credit really goes to them, all I did was buy stuff and paint it.


JediMerc wrote:- Considering this was an episode focusing on character motivations, I thought you did an outstanding job on the exchange between Tylin Gere and Rykrof's wife: the dialogue was sparse, but full of subtext and meaning. Caldin's response to his mother's explanation of events might seem simplistic and contrived, but I thought it set up the story moving forward well without overdoing it. The shot of Caldin's face, squinting in anger/frustration was excellent craftsmanship and storytelling.


Again, thank you - I actually removed about a dozen panels from that scene, it seemed to be getting too long - that's always hard to judge... making a scene too long or two short - finding the right amount of detail can be difficult.

Glad you liked Caldin's scene too!


JediMerc wrote:In addition, Kala's meeting with Rykrof at the end of the story was tense and full of significance for the future of this "merry little band" of rebels. Despite not incorporating a great deal of dialogue, you clearly articulated the loneliness Rykrof feels as he's forced into a decision that was never his to make. Kala's response to the issue Rykrof has been grappling with was masterful, leaving a nice little cliffhanger heading into Trial 8.


Once again, thank you for the thoughts and feedback on another part of the story that I really tried to make relevant, a bit surprising, etc.


JediMerc wrote:- One (minor) criticism: I would distance the Bespin Han jacket from Rykrof's character just by painting it a different color. I like the change in outfits to show a sense of time passing, but the color just seems to reinforce "Han Solo" a bit too much---even with Rykrof's head attached to the figure.

I'm always impressed with your work; I apologize for not getting in here sooner to comment and let you know how much I appreciate what you do. Thanks!


Thanks, you are not the only one who felt that way on the Rykrof. I tried to paint that jacket some to make it look a bit different, I probably could have done more in hindsight.

And sorry it took me so long to reply, just goes to show how busy I am, I guess, as when I read your post earlier I was very thrilled with the feedback and meant to thank you for it much quicker than I did!

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Re: The 7th Trial: Veils of Deceit - POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Sun Apr 19, 2015 1:34 am

All pics are taken for next chapter, in editing phase now...

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