The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

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CloneCrazy
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby CloneCrazy » Fri Jul 22, 2016 8:15 am

Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to this, I really did enjoy it a great deal! Life has been crazy lately, but that is no excuse :oops:

First of, I love the name of the planet, Tartaaris, which is clearly inspired by Tartarus of Greek mythology. Lots of symbolism there, as the planet is a realm of torment and prison for Enloe, as is it's Greek counterpart for the Titans. Plus, its like the Star Wars Australia (penal colony for an Empire's unwanted!). Those gangs are going to turn into complex social institutions and give way to a democracy someday :lol:

The customs and dio work throughout the planet are amazing, I can only imagine how much work went into them! Whatever filter you used on the pictures really compliments the landscape well.

On the story, you did an excellent job of conveying how desperate a man Enloe has become, it feels as if he is a different character than the one we've come to know over the years. That's a good thing, as I think it raises the stakes of the story moving forward. Of course, I'm interested to find out who the mysterious (and very cool!) old man is.

Hope we get to see more Trials soon, your series is always a blast!
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Aug 01, 2016 10:56 am

Eyositer wrote:Very nice. I like the new location. Lots of potential there. As for the story, I got a little Gladiator/Planet Hulk/King Arthur/Count of Monte Cristo vibe. Good stuff!!


Thank you! Appreciate you taking the time to read, and am glad you liked what you saw. :)

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:03 am

Darth Kikinou wrote:Excellent Chewie, excellent! This chapter feels "different" somehow. It's more deliberate than usual and it's one dimensional. Also the writing is more sophisticated (which is not to say that your earlier writing is unsophisticated!) which really lets us grasp Rykrof's longstanding boredom and lack of anything interesting happening for him over these years on that rock. The photography and the sets are phenomenal as always. I was hoping we could see more of his day to day existence though, like where the prisoners live and stuff, the barracks and what not. Maybe next chapter? I'm thinking he's going to be there for a while lol. I found his lethargy against his two aggressors to be uncharacteristic as well, those years there have him pretty beaten down. Hopefully that lightsaber will wake him up! I'm super excited about this arc, I really hope you've got the next part almost ready because it's just not fair to tease us this way again :-) Congrats!


Hi bud, thanks for reading as always!

Yes, this chapter was more deliberate as it was focused squarely on Rykrof. I had not done that in quite some time, and felt like now was the perfect time to start getting back to basics. I feel this should have been easy read for anyone who hops around the forums, even if they have never read an Enloe story before.

Yeah, not too much interesting has happened to him for a while other than trying to survive in this new environment. You will see a little more daily existence, including prisoner living spaces in a future chapter. I've got another area of the planet designed that looks a bit different than what was shown in this chapter.

He is not getting off this place anytime soon - the lightsaber was something I've wanted to do for a LONG time... since the old series, but I had to find a time to make it "feel right." He does have a connection to the Force, but not quite like a Jedi does. He'll never be making 20 foot leaps, or Force pushing walls down... but he's always had a touch of the Force. I believe Han Solo would call it luck. I'll get more into that in future chapters.

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:05 am

Choi wrote:This was really great! I love the new direction the story has taken and can't wait to see what happens next! And, as always, I am in awe of your incredible diorama work. :D


Cool, I'm glad you liked it and the direction the chapter is taking! The dioramas are fun - the issue with them really comes down to time, and finding a place to store then in-between chapters!

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:07 am

Starchaser wrote:Great new chapter! The planet looks appropriately gritty and the "new" look for Rykrof is excellent for the setting. So many questions to answer...


Thank you - glad you liked it! I even sculpted new hair for Rykrof... which is definitely NOT my strong suit!

I am looking forward to the next chapter. If you liked this one, I think you will like the next one too - (at least I hope)!

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:08 am

Trooper31 wrote:Yes, this was a great new chapter in Enloe's Story. I like how this has started out. Great customs, and great sets as well. This is going to be a fun journey with Rykrof.


Thanks bud - seems like you have always been reading and commenting... I can't express how much I appreciate that.

Glad you liked how this new era has panned out so far... I was going for something different from what we've seen before, but trying to still keep it familiar.

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Re: The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

Postby UKHistory » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:17 pm

Very intriguing episode:

Story content: Enloe's story has taken a very dark turn. Years have past which makes the audience wonder how long? Enloe doesn't look like himself now. Other questions are what has happend to Enloe's wife and son? The obvious is that Alyssa will be now with the Baron in a romantic capacity. The last time we say Enloe's son, the young boy was resentful that his father was not around. He, tragically, is ripe for manipulation by the Baron.

The Baron made my skin crawl in the last episode and I must say I am a little worried about what is going to happen. This is the mark of a good story when you care about the characters. Kudos to you Chewie for making a character in the verse that we care about.

A new and unnamed friend has come to Enloe's aide. And now Enloe is showing some force ability. This is an interesting decision. I myself would prefer that we don't see force sensitive people too often in the Star Wars universe in the Empire era. If too many Jedi remain and too many people have are feeling the force in strength it waters down Luke as the new and only hope.

That said I am all in on Enloe and can't wait to see what happens next. The biggest thing along with what conditions we will find the Enloe family how much time has past and how close are to the battle of Yavin taking place.

Customs and set design: Wow. Great new environment. Love the opening space scenes. The sets are really neat. A wonderful mix of junk strategically placed. Great use of figures like the Disney R5 that is damaged.

Orange is the new black even in a galaxy far, far away. I love that the inmates wear all the same prison garb in color but they have individualized the garments. Great use of the lizard man from spiderman. The human villain is well. And Enloe doesn't look like himself at all. And this is a compliment.

The custom droid is good too. I didn't mention the menacing droids who kill the prisoners in the storyline above. I think that snippet may come into play in the forthcoming episodes.

Good story and beautiful designs and photography.

I like how you once again used a Han torso for Enloe. In this case the shirt painted orange doesn't ehco Han. They are similar but different enough and that is a really creative challenge. Braveo.

The old man is superb with the helmet and googles. Good use of the Gandolph head sculpt.
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Re: The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

Postby DarthDaddy » Thu Aug 04, 2016 10:47 am

Love the new Jedi twist in the storyline. Rykrof is looking pretty haggard, haha. The visual elements in your stories are getting better and better all the time! Can't wait to see where the story goes next!
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:02 am

Lance Quazar wrote:Love it!

This chapter was short, but oh so sweet. The prison planet environment is sensational, one of your most atmospheric dioramas of all time. You really get a sense of the death and desperation that are all around.

And the Rykrof custom is similarly bleak and horrible to behold. We really believe this is a changed man, a shadow of the former hero.


Thanks bud - yes, it's a short chapter - which was intentional because I really wanted to set the stage for a new direction for the series without going into too much depth just yet.

The stage has been set, which was the purpose. Rykrof is a little older now. He's in a bad situation, and detached from his old life. Nobody knows he's still alive. Not even his nemesis, Tylin Gere. There are new enemies now. He's come into contact with a possible new ally. But still in a dangerous situation.


Lance Quazar wrote:A great start, some fun twists here. Wasn't sure if Rykrof's Jedi heritage would ever come up again - curious to see how that all plays out!


I have been wanting to bring back his heritage for a long time, but never wanted to "Force" it into the story, lol. I felt like the time now was right to hint back at where he really comes from. Rykrof is important in this fan fic world. He is part of a strong bloodline. He's never entertained the idea that he might be "special" until now. But is he really special? If he does have a gift, to this point, he would "call it luck."


Lance Quazar wrote:Really love the customs, especially the mysterious man who rescues Rykrof. Is that a Hobbit figure head? An awesome choice for a long-time prisoner.

Love that everyone has matching orange jumpsuits. easily sells the "prison planet" vibe, but you got some great variety here with the tubby Ice Cream Maker guy body or the open shirt from Galen Marek, etc.

The visuals are terrific all around!


The customs were fun to make and I started them about 18 months ago. So, I've had this planned out for a while now. That is a Gandalf head. I tried to make it really seem different with the goggles and custom helmet.

The jumpsuits were fun to match parts and find what seemed to work.


Lance Quazar wrote:And the story, though brief, definitely hooks us in. As always, can't wait to see more!

There's a definite Count of Monte Cristo vibe happening! A wrongfully imprisoned hero (betrayed by a former friend, no less), a brutal prison sentence and help from a mysterious fellow prisoner.

I hope you continue this thread. Would be cool to have a transformed Rykrof return to a galaxy that thinks he's long dead and has moved on.

Cool, cool, cool!


I've read several comparisons to Monte Cristo now - while I am somewhat familiar with that story, it really had no bearing on this as I've never read it or seen a film adaptation. Maybe I need to find the time to do that.

Yes, Rykrof is going to be transformed some after this ordeal. He won't be the same man anymore - at heart, he will be good - or think he's good - but it's time for Rykrof to evolve past the former Peace Officer/Republic Commander - and into a true rebel.

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:05 am

Utinniii wrote:I really liked this chapter! I read it first and then just looked at the pictures a second time. While I was mostly just looking at your diorama, the photos themselves tell the story, even without the text.
Great job. I'm on tenterhooks for the next installment.


Thanks Utinnii - I appreciate the feedback.

It's really, really easy on a photonovel to get "stale" so I've really tried to change things up with this chapter.

And the photos - that is always my intent, to try and be able to tell the story without words - and minimize the dialogue as much as I can. If it gets too wordy, it's not as interesting - at least to me.

Thanks again, really glad you liked this one.

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Thu Aug 11, 2016 10:11 am

Jodo wrote:Knocked it out of the park, as always Chewie!!! :mrgreen:

I've looked at this installment several times now, and the most standout thing is definitely the diorama and custom figure work. Both definitely capture the idea of a super desolate world, and that life is hard there.

As always, your story is great too. The reader can quickly appreciate the change which the character has gone through, and that the jump in time has impacted the story quite a bit. This chapter did seem to go by super quick, but I was also scrolling pretty fast to see the next frame, again and again. :lol: I've always loved the idea of Imperial prisons, so this chapter (and the zombie one from way back) is pretty much tugging on my heart strings. :p

The old man at the end is also really cool. He reminds me of Riddick when Toombs finds him on UV6...Man I wish they would have made figures and vehicles from those movies...

Anyway, great chapter as always man! Is it too soon to look forward to the next installment?


Thanks my friend, as always your feedback means a lot!

The diorama was so much fun to make, but really time consuming. Most of the customs had been done almost a year ago. So I'm always trying to plan ahead. That's why these things take me so long to make.

The story was fun for me too, and it was a challenge to change direction so much with the series. But I felt it was really time to make a jump forward in the timeline. And I liked the idea of an environment I had not tackled before.

I need to watch more Riddick films, I guess - I think I saw Pitch Black and Chronicles, but that's it - and I don't remember them to well. But I did like them.

As for the next installment... I'm not sure when just yet. Work is really heating up again and kids are going back to school next week... schedule is tight, but I'll find a way! :)

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Re: The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

Postby Darth Vlad's Clone » Thu Aug 11, 2016 7:28 pm

Finally getting to this after vacation. That's a pretty cool chapter. I liked how you explained the time jump and it works well. The penal colony is done well and I like how you explained its origins. NI also like the looks of a lot of your characters. The assassin droid, the lizard con and the old man especially. Nice work. I can't wait to see how Rykrof develops!

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Re: The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

Postby my kind of scum » Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:31 pm

I'm late to this one, sorry about that.

But I loved it. An interesting locale - somewhat claustrophobic in the photography which is entirely apt. And everything there looks so perfect. The customs, the debris... Just gorgeous.

And the story gives us a perfect tantalizing glimpse at what happens next and... Well, I want to see more, indeed.
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Tue Aug 30, 2016 12:05 pm

CloneCrazy wrote:Sorry it has taken me so long to reply to this, I really did enjoy it a great deal! Life has been crazy lately, but that is no excuse :oops:


No worries, we all have busy lives outside of the forums!



CloneCrazy wrote:First of, I love the name of the planet, Tartaaris, which is clearly inspired by Tartarus of Greek mythology. Lots of symbolism there, as the planet is a realm of torment and prison for Enloe, as is it's Greek counterpart for the Titans. Plus, its like the Star Wars Australia (penal colony for an Empire's unwanted!). Those gangs are going to turn into complex social institutions and give way to a democracy someday :lol:



Yes, that is definitely the inspiration for the name of the planet. It's very much inspired by Greek mythology. In fact, I have another comparison to Tartarus or two that I'm looking to try and include in the upcoming chapters from this planet.



CloneCrazy wrote:The customs and dio work throughout the planet are amazing, I can only imagine how much work went into them! Whatever filter you used on the pictures really compliments the landscape well.
CloneCrazy wrote:
Thank you, I really did spend a lot of time creating the landscape area for this. And I was certainly aware of how I needed to add in custom lighting to bring out the effect a bit more.



CloneCrazy wrote:On the story, you did an excellent job of conveying how desperate a man Enloe has become, it feels as if he is a different character than the one we've come to know over the years. That's a good thing, as I think it raises the stakes of the story moving forward. Of course, I'm interested to find out who the mysterious (and very cool!) old man is.

Hope we get to see more Trials soon, your series is always a blast!


Thanks, really appreciate that. I do want for him to be evolving due to this experience. He's not the same person anymore.

More on the old man will be revealed in the next chapter - I hope to get cranking on it some in September.

Again - thank you for the support and feedback!

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Re: The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

Postby YAK_Chewie » Tue Aug 30, 2016 12:06 pm

DarthDaddy wrote:Love the new Jedi twist in the storyline. Rykrof is looking pretty haggard, haha. The visual elements in your stories are getting better and better all the time! Can't wait to see where the story goes next!


Thanks as always for the continued support! :)

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