Moderators: YAK_Chewie, Yakface.com Staff

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By Utinniii
#162102
darthvlad wrote:Actually, this make sense (what you both are saying) and I'm pretty guilty of taking time to read everyone's PNs, but failing to comment... and if no one comments, then it's hard for the author to know how much traffic they are receiving.

I wish I had some skills, time, and money to do a PN of my own and join in on the fun, but I just don't see it happening without some guidance. I think I could come up with a story (I've thought it would be could to have someone do a PN of some of the short stories I've written (non-Star Wars)), though.


Getting comments are nice and getting a critique is gold. While it is great to hear "great job", it is more inspiring to know how, and what stood out or didn't work. If I don't have time I'll do the "good job" post and then later follow up with something a bit more detailed.

The great thing is this is a community. We'll help each other out. There are a couple of us that proofread stories and make suggestions. Jodo helped me with mine and I'd be happy to help edit. They also don't need to be expensive or be SA figures.
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By darthvlad
#162103
Utinniii wrote:Getting comments are nice and getting a critique is gold. While it is great to hear "great job", it is more inspiring to know how, and what stood out or didn't work. If I don't have time I'll do the "good job" post and then later follow up with something a bit more detailed.


That's usually the problem I have... enough time to read and enjoy yet I don't get back to posting my thoughts on story. That's a combination of things (time, family, other priorities) that I don't make it back. But that's on me.

And thanks for the offer. I'd love to do a PN (Jodo and Chewie are also encouraging me), but not sure where to start (the first step is always good). I have an idea of what I'd like to do story-wise; I just need to plan the plot out first, then develop characters and start making stuff, etc. We'll see if I get to it. There are so many stories that I have planned to write that I'd hate to take time away from those... and I'm trying to finish one of these novels by the end of the month. Not sure if I'll get there but that's the goal.
User avatar
By Utinniii
#162106
darthvlad wrote:
That's usually the problem I have... enough time to read and enjoy yet I don't get back to posting my thoughts on story. That's a combination of things (time, family, other priorities) that I don't make it back. But that's on me.

And thanks for the offer. I'd love to do a PN (Jodo and Chewie are also encouraging me), but not sure where to start (the first step is always good). I have an idea of what I'd like to do story-wise; I just need to plan the plot out first, then develop characters and start making stuff, etc. We'll see if I get to it. There are so many stories that I have planned to write that I'd hate to take time away from those... and I'm trying to finish one of these novels by the end of the month. Not sure if I'll get there but that's the goal.


A lack of time is something we all struggle with (even ignoring Netflix and Candy crush). I think commenting is an investment and self serving in a way. The more I fire up Chewie, Jodo and the rest, the sooner I'll get the next installment.

First place to start is with a new thread (so we don't clutter up Chewie's here!). Star small and with what you already have. Deciding what to spend time on is always hard. Time writing a PN is less time for building dioramas and figures for me. It sounds like you prefer to write. Why not write a PN that is mostly text with a few establishing photos?

Back to Chewie.
I also had a hard time reading the first few lines of the crawl. I actually nearly stopped reading, intending to come back when my eyes weren't so tired. If all of the text was slightly bigger, I wouldn't complain. I adjust my monitor though.

I really like how many things are off center. The planet, Stormtrooper in the next shot... It makes things more engaging. I mentally fill in the missing pieces and so I'm sucked into the story.

In your other thread, I'd like to see a shot of the entire diorama, including surrounding area.

I also like how everyone has a unique stance. You utilize the SA aspect of the figures. EDIT: Just noticed, Rycroft holds his arms out like a gun slinger a lot.

Atracion is a fun character. When he laughed, I wish you had changed the pose in the second picture instead of just zooming. All your figures are so dynamic that for me it stands out when they are static (That's a compliment even though it sounds like I'm complaining.)

Is that a giant lightsaber in the background?

Lines like "the food drops have stopped..." followed by "talk over dinner", stand out to me. A "meager dinner" connects the first statement better. Or, "You're lucky, we just found some rat eaten expired rations. You're in for a feast".

The action sequences are great. I don't even look at them critically as I'm engrossed by the story. The only thing that pulled me out was the lightsaber. I realize Rycroft wanted to draw their attention, but that weapon seems like more of a danger. Some guards might just decide to shoot first.
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162107
Codaks wrote:
YAK_Chewie wrote:
The good thing is, most of the ground work has already been done... the bad part is, I have to create an all-new (somewhat elaborate) modular diorama for the next chapter. And wow, I can't wait to finish up this segment of the series - the final scene on this planet is going to be pretty memorable, I think - at least for a photonovel.


More teasing I see :lol:

Seriously though, I appreciate that you take the time to answer the feedback given. :D


Not as much as I appreciate getting feedback. :)

:wink:
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162108
Darth Kikinou wrote:Chewie!! Please tell me you have the next chapter ready too! I feel like I've been doing time on that planet myself it's taking so long to get on with it! :-)

What is there to say? Excellent as always!

The "you know darth vader?! hahaha" part made me think of the scene in Gladiator where Proximo tells Maximus that Marcus Aurelius touched him on the shoulder with a wooden sword and that is how he was freed, so then Maximus laughs "hahaha YOU knew Marcus Aurelius!?"

When is the next chapter coming!!??

The PN scene is meager these days. Jodo is doing an amazing job with the Era of Darkness series (his photography skills are second to none), and Choi's Alliance Intelligence series is really fun (I never comment anymore, sorry guys, I am reading, loving it!)

Anyway, I nominate Chewie to write and direct episode 9. Not sure what can be salvaged from the wreckage of 8, but I'm sure you'll do a better job.



I know, the time between chapters is way too long. It's really hard as you know to find the time and all that to make these. It's sometimes quite the chore!

Yes, the line of "You know Darth Vader" was inspired by that Gladiator scene - that part of the movie always stuck with me for some reason. I thought it would be a good reaction too for someone to find out that Rykrof had met Vader before.

Yep, I love both Jodo and Choi's series. Great stuff and I try and give them the feedback they deserve. And it's still so awesome to see all of our work at your site. Thank you for doing that.

As for Ep8, I liked it more after a second viewing. It might grow on people over time that had a negative reaction to it, I don't know.

Thanks as always for the feedback. I really do appreciate it.

:wink:
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162116
UKHistory wrote:Curling up with the latest chapter of the Enloe chronicles. Well done. A great combo action with the suspense of leaving us with the next

Set designs and custom figures are cool. Build n brawl wrestler and Gi joe fill out the penal colony as do female prisoners too. The variation on the prisoner garb is cool. It is realistic and very artistic. Loved seeing a duros in the mix.

I think one of the more interesting characters is Attracion. Well constructed. Soft good plus a pirate zombie long vest. Like his interaction with Attracion.


As always, thank you greatly for the continued support and feedback. :)

More prisoners for this chapter was a good thing, I think. I had made the Weequay for the scene with Atracion talking to Rykrof, and was all set to start snapping lots of pics - then I started thinking that I just didn't have enough of them... the population was just too small. So I had to make a few more - I whipped up all 5 of these in just one weekend:

Image

^ Usually it takes me much longer to make a group of customs - but somehow those just came together smoothly. It was weird.




UKHistory wrote:Best part is the foreshadowing asking what has become of Cauldin. Enloe says his son was good whnen he left. But now? And Enloe doesn’t even know what has happened with Gere and his family.

Chewie however Long Enloe continues, thanks. Great story and fun way to bridge the prequels to the OT.


Yeah, I felt like I really needed to bring up Rykrof's family situation a little bit. Just a subtle reminder that he does have a son, and that he was a good kid - but that's been a few years in the timeline now... so... what could that mean for Caldin? And what has Tylin Gere been up to? It will be fun jumping back into that plotline in the future.

Thanks again -- and hopefully the series goes on for a while. I could see myself doing this for another decade, if the support and interest is there.

:wink:
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162137
Utinniii wrote:
YAK_Chewie wrote:Thanks for taking the time to read, and to comment - there are fewer and fewer people that take the time to do that these days... and eventually, that probably means nobody (including myself) will take the time to make photonovels anymore for the forums.

I dread that day.


I've actually been thinking about this for a long while. I even started writing out my thoughts about this with reasons and solutions which quickly became a long essay. I'll distill the important point in brief. I think the problem is with forums in general, not just the PN or customs section.

I think the only way to really solve this problem is for everyone to be more proactive and comment on and query other people's posts, regardless of the section. By engaging other posters, we become friends and are more likely to respond in kind. Leaving comments isn't enough. If we ask questions, we'll likely get a response and start a dialogue.

I'm posting this here and not in the "10 comments or bust" thread because you are actually one of the few that takes the time to comment, and more importantly, ENGAGE other members so you won't take my above comment as a criticism.


Yes, I completely agree and have several friends who used to post here, at RS, and JD, etc. that just stopped chatting in forums. One guy on FB just yesterday said, "that's too much work, LOL" - I personally don't see how it's too much work. It's easy and really cool to be able to look back on older conversations, scroll through customs, etc.

I try and encourage participation and even nudge my own staff buddies here to do it more - just asking a question here and there and being more proactive and trying to engage the other forum members (like you said).

:wink:
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162138
darthvlad wrote:I thought it was a great addition to the story. It had the right balance of advancing the plot and some action. I always love the customs and the settings that you do. I just love seeing everyone else's creativity (it tends to fuel my own creativity). My only "complaint" was about the first line in the crawl being too small. I'm getting old and my eyesight is going... it still didn't take away from the story though.

I wish I had some skills, time, and money to do a PN of my own and join in on the fun, but I just don't see it happening without some guidance. I think I could come up with a story (I've thought it would be could to have someone do a PN of some of the short stories I've written (non-Star Wars)), though.


Thanks, and yes I know what you mean about the scroll text. I'll experiment with that some more moving forward.

You gotta try a photonovel someday. I might be getting rid of some diorama sets (such as a ground base) at some point ---- since you're local, it would be a lot easier to just give them to you (if you are interested). They would not be something I'd want to try and ship to anyone.

:wink:
By jlw515
#162230
Chewie,

I like to drop in on Yakface from time to time just to see what you've done with your photonovel. Yakface is probably the only SW site I visit anymore. I appreciate your dedication to the genre and the art of photonovels. I from experience how back-breaking they can be. It can be compared to being: writer, director, producer, make-up, lighting, actor, set builder, editor, etc. of a movie.

As always I LOVE your dioramas. I'm always trying to figure out how you made stuff. You did a great job of mixing parts for the dios and action figures - saw some GIJoe parts mixed in there! I really liked the color scheme also. SW tends to have a lot of blues and greys. So, the orange theme brought a nice warmth to the desolation.

It's been mentioned by others, but you do a great job of posing the figures for action shots. My favorite one from this chapter is of the Stormtroopers with the foreground trooper pointing his left hand. It's got an almost 3-D look to it. Plus you get the feeling that the far-most Trooper is climbing/stepping over some kind of debris.

I did read one person's comment about not being able to read the top line of your crawl. I've mentioned this a few times in the past. I'm sure you're using the SW crawl creator page, but the angle is just not right for a flat image. It works if the text is actually "crawling" where you get a closer angle at the bottom, but for a flat text it has always been difficult for me to read. At this point in your series, I'm not sure if you even want to mess with it, but a less steep angle would definitely help.

Oh, and before I finish; great lighting and photoshop effects also! Not too dark, not too bright! Great work.

Jason
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162326
Utinniii wrote:A lack of time is something we all struggle with (even ignoring Netflix and Candy crush). I think commenting is an investment and self serving in a way. The more I fire up Chewie, Jodo and the rest, the sooner I'll get the next installment.


Indeed!


Utinniii wrote:First place to start is with a new thread (so we don't clutter up Chewie's here!). Star small and with what you already have. Deciding what to spend time on is always hard. Time writing a PN is less time for building dioramas and figures for me. It sounds like you prefer to write. Why not write a PN that is mostly text with a few establishing photos?


I think that's a great idea for someone who is more about the literature than the visuals.



Utinniii wrote:Back to Chewie.
I also had a hard time reading the first few lines of the crawl. I actually nearly stopped reading, intending to come back when my eyes weren't so tired. If all of the text was slightly bigger, I wouldn't complain. I adjust my monitor though.


I am likely going to look at a new approach now that so many people have mentioned it. :)


Utinniii wrote:I really like how many things are off center. The planet, Stormtrooper in the next shot... It makes things more engaging. I mentally fill in the missing pieces and so I'm sucked into the story.

In your other thread, I'd like to see a shot of the entire diorama, including surrounding area.


Thanks, and yeah angles can really make a photonovel better, and try and add more "movement" if that makes sense. I will take some full pics of the scenery and post them in my diorama thread the next time I get those pieces out.




Utinniii wrote:I also like how everyone has a unique stance. You utilize the SA aspect of the figures. EDIT: Just noticed, Rycroft holds his arms out like a gun slinger a lot.

Atracion is a fun character. When he laughed, I wish you had changed the pose in the second picture instead of just zooming. All your figures are so dynamic that for me it stands out when they are static (That's a compliment even though it sounds like I'm complaining.)


Thanks, and as for the Atraction, that just so happened to be because I didn't feel like I had any alternative images to use - I took well over 1500 pics for this story - so many pics end up out of focus no matter how hard I try.


Utinniii wrote:Is that a giant lightsaber in the background?


Which image?


Utinniii wrote:Lines like "the food drops have stopped..." followed by "talk over dinner", stand out to me. A "meager dinner" connects the first statement better. Or, "You're lucky, we just found some rat eaten expired rations. You're in for a feast".


I see what you mean, but it was supposed to be Atraction showing trust and wanting to build partnership with Rykrof. The supply drops seem to have stopped, but being the head of the gang, he has a stockpile and is willing to share with his new ally. Their numbers have also dropped, so I would also take that as there being a bit more food to go around in the short term at least.


Utinniii wrote:The action sequences are great. I don't even look at them critically as I'm engrossed by the story. The only thing that pulled me out was the lightsaber. I realize Rycroft wanted to draw their attention, but that weapon seems like more of a danger. Some guards might just decide to shoot first.


Well, my thinking was a blaster would make him look too aggressive, and these troopers might not even know what his weapon was exactly; but he needed something for self defense if needed - and he did end up using it to save the Duros, so it was a good thing he had it. It's definitely debateable, just in the end I wanted to use the saber so he was holding it - I guess I could have had him conceal it.

Thanks for reading, and the comments --- really appreciate it!

:wink:
User avatar
By Utinniii
#162331
That's a lot of photos! I didn't realize how many photos won't work out until I made my own PN.

When Atraction is laughing there is a giant pipe behind him. At first glance it looks like a kids toy lightsaber.

There are lots of things that can be justified (extra food, unawareness of what light sabers are...). So long as there is a good reason behind it. I find it fascinating what others notice (or don't).

For me, a lightsaber would be similar to any ancient weapon. We know what spears and swords are from childhood fairy tales. I imagine that Jedi stories are still quietly told, but I can also see Palps being thorough in erasing their history.
User avatar
By YAK_Chewie
#162391
Utinniii wrote:That's a lot of photos! I didn't realize how many photos won't work out until I made my own PN.

When Atraction is laughing there is a giant pipe behind him. At first glance it looks like a kids toy lightsaber.

There are lots of things that can be justified (extra food, unawareness of what light sabers are...). So long as there is a good reason behind it. I find it fascinating what others notice (or don't).

For me, a lightsaber would be similar to any ancient weapon. We know what spears and swords are from childhood fairy tales. I imagine that Jedi stories are still quietly told, but I can also see Palps being thorough in erasing their history.


Yeah it's crazy just how many unworkable photos I end up with!

As for the giant pipe -- that's part of a column from an Ultarame Playset.

I know what you mean, different readers view things in their own way and what is noticed and is not. As for the lightsaber, he's a snip from a few chapters ago when Rykrof first found it... the inmates there were ignorant of what it was; which I kind of figured most people in the galaxy knew of Jedi, but seeing an actual lightsaber in person was extremely rare:

====================================================================================

Image
Rykrof is just about to leave the wreck when he feels a strange sensation.



Image
The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels a subtle compulsion - KEEP LOOKING!



Image
Nudged by this sensation, he approaches a broken down astromech droid.



Image
Almost without thinking, he feels compelled to remove the debris leaning on the dome of the droid...



Image
Freed from the wreckage, a hatch on the droid ejects a cylindrical object!



Image
Could it be...?



Image
A lightsaber?



Image
His heart pounding uncontrollably, Rykrof presses the igniter switch...



Image
...and the weapon hisses to life!



Image
Holding the weapon, a strange feeling spreads throughout his body...
...his mother was a Jedi of the Republic...



Image
...her gift with the Force was not passed onto him; or so he has always been told.

But for all the tribulations he has survived, Rykrof has begun to have his doubts...



Image
Most men, through his experiences, would have died dozens of times.

Did his father lie to him? Does part of his mother's gift run through his veins?



Image
"YOU!" a raspy voice sneers.

Turning around, Rykrof sees a pair of penal colony prisoners approaching him; a brute Katrillian flanked by a human.



Image
"You're not supposed to be here! You're trespassing!"



Image
"What's that right there you're holding?"



Image
"Looks fancy; whatever it is," the Katrillian's companion says.



Image
"This?"



Image
"I'm not really sure," Rykrof lies.
"Just more junk; I guess."



Image
"Hand it over."



Image
"It's not anything worth taking," Rykrof shrugs.



Image
"Besides, it's mine."



Image
"Kill him!"




Image
"Dammit!" Rykrof curses...



Image
...before striking the reptilian alien dead!

====================================================================================

Again -- thank you for your feedback, and also throwing out different viewpoints and asking good questions. It's great to see that. :)

:wink:

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