The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

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The 11th Trial: DESOLATION

Postby YAK_Chewie » Thu Jun 30, 2016 5:43 pm

UPDATE 7/15/16 - The next installment of The Enloe Trials is complete!


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For reference, please feel free to catch up on the past chapters at the links below -- plus character profiles too:

The Enloe Trials Prologue: The Baron's Crusade
Chapter 1: Seeds of Insurrection
Chapter 2: Atrocity
Chapter 3: Revelations
Chapter 4: Shadow of Death
Chapter 5: Depths of Despair
Chapter 6: Seekers of the Dark Relic
Chapter 7: Veils of Deceit
Chapter 8: Catastrophe
Chapter 9: The Fall of Banyss
Chapter 10: Shards of Rebellion


And the character profiles to help understand this chapter are as follows... that's right, most other main characters are not present in this chapter, so to see their profiles please reference a previous chapter in the links above.

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Rykrof Enloe - Homeworld - Naboo. Former Republic Commander, who is now an enemy of the Empire. He has a history of entanglements with the Badoo Corba terrorist organization, dating back prior to the Clone Wars. He is a former close friend of Imperial Baron Tylin Gere and was been forced to embark on a desperate mission to acquire an ancient Sith artifact for Tylin - which ended in failure. Since then, he has inadvertently led Imperial forces to a secret Rebel base on Banyss, which was destroyed by Darth Vader's forces. Rykrof has now been taken captive by the Empire. His wife, son and closes friends believe he is now deceased.


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Baron Tylin Gere - Homeworld - Naboo. Former close ally of Rykrof Enloe, the two served as Republic Peace Officers prior to the Clone Wars and later as officers in the Grand Army of the Republic. Tylin thirsts for power and has become obsessed with acquiring an ancient Sith artifact, which was recently acquired by Darth Vader, who he secretly sees as a rival. He has taken custody of Alyssa and Caldin Enloe, and ordered the death of Rykrof's father. He believes Rykrof Enloe is dead, once and for all.


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Commander Vlarra Gere - Homeworld - Naboo. Nephew of Tylin Gere. Vlarra has always admired his uncle's ambition and strives to rise through the Imperial ranks quickly, regardless of the means.


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Emperor Palpatine - Homeword - Naboo. Dark Lord of the Sith and the undisputed leader of the Galactic Empire. He attempted to mold Rykrof Enloe as the ideal Imperial officer but failed. He takes great interest in Baron Tylin Gere's personal quests for power and admires his ambition.


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Darth Vader - Homeworld - Tatooine. Dark Lord of the Sith and follows the instructions of his master, Emperor Palpatine. During the Clone Wars, he was once friends with Rykrof Enloe. He considers Rykrof a traitor to the Empire but also is fully aware that Rykrof once helped protect Padme Amidala, and rather than killing him, he has spared Rykrof's life by sending him to a secret penal colony. However, his loyalties to Emperor Palpatine are secure.



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Tartaaris...for centuries, the Outer Rim world prided itself as a haven for smugglers.



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But the planet became a brutal battleground during the final stages of the Clone Wars.



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Deemed a galactic disaster sector, it was abandoned before the Empire began utilizing the planet as a dumping ground...



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...and established Tartaaris as an undisclosed penal colony for former Separatists and other undesirables.



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Over time, a hierarchy of gangs has risen within the prisoner ranks...



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...led by a former slave trader known as Atracion.



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As the malefactors throughout the wasteland struggle to survive, they are constantly being watched by an enigmatic observer...



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...and hunted by mysterious droids.



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The planet is consumed by the stench of death.



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It has been many years now since Rykrof Enloe was captured by the Empire...



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...he now calls this festering hellhole his home.



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The Imperial ration drops are the only reliable form of sustenance...



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...but they have become infrequent at best...



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...forcing Rykrof to explore new territory.



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This extreme lifestyle has made Rykrof Enloe a changed man...



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...he now lives for one sole purpose...



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...revenge.



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Rummaging through the remains of a crashed Republic gunship, he spots something in the debris...



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...he jumps down to grasp it...



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...an E-5 blaster!



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He looks back to ensure he has not been followed...



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...then grasps the weapon!



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But as expected, the power source has been exhausted.



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Rykrof is just about to leave the wreck when he feels a strange sensation.



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The hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he feels a subtle compulsion - KEEP LOOKING!



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Nudged by this sensation, he approaches a broken down astromech droid.



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Almost without thinking, he feels compelled to remove the debris leaning on the dome of the droid...



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Freed from the wreckage, a hatch on the droid ejects a cylindrical object!



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Could it be...?



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A lightsaber?



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His heart pounding uncontrollably, Rykrof presses the igniter switch...



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...and the weapon hisses to life!



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Holding the weapon, a strange feeling spreads throughout his body...
...his mother was a Jedi of the Republic...



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...her gift with the Force was not passed onto him; or so he has always been told.

But for all the tribulations he has survived, Rykrof has begun to have his doubts...



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Most men, through his experiences, would have died dozens of times.

Did his father lie to him? Does part of his mother's gift run through his veins?



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"YOU!" a raspy voice sneers.

Turning around, Rykrof sees a pair of penal colony prisoners approaching him; a brute Katrillian flanked by a human.



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"You're not supposed to be here! You're trespassing!"



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"What's that right there you're holding?"



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"Looks fancy; whatever it is," the Katrillian's companion says.



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"This?"



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"I'm not really sure," Rykrof lies.
"Just more junk; I guess."



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"Hand it over."



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"It's not anything worth taking," Rykrof shrugs.



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"Besides, it's mine."



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"Kill him!"




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"Dammit!" Rykrof curses...



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...before striking the reptilian alien dead!



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The other assailant then swiftly strikes Rykrof down!



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"Worthless slug," he spits...



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...before a laser blast slams into his skull!



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"What the...?"



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"Settle down," an old man smiles.
"Don't be afraid."



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"Whoever you are, thank you," Rykrof says.



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"Don't thank me just yet," the old man insists.
"We've got to get far away from here."



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"All this commotion won't go unnoticed."



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:wink:
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Utinniii
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Re: The 11th Trial: Coming Soon

Postby Utinniii » Sat Jul 02, 2016 5:32 pm

Looking forward to it!
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Re: The 11th Trial: Coming Soon

Postby YAK_Chewie » Wed Jul 13, 2016 6:58 pm

Thanks - VERY close now... :)

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Re: The 11th Trial: Coming Soon

Postby YAK_Chewie » Thu Jul 14, 2016 11:41 am

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Should be posted this weekend.

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Re: The 11th Trial: Coming Soon

Postby Trooper31 » Fri Jul 15, 2016 7:30 am

Really looking Forward to this.
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Fri Jul 15, 2016 5:46 pm

POSTED! Hope you guys like it. I look forward to some feedback. :)

Special thanks to Lance Quazar for helping me out with some of the dialogue. Always very helpful to have a second set of eyes to help proofread.

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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Eyositer » Fri Jul 15, 2016 11:33 pm

Very nice. I like the new location. Lots of potential there. As for the story, I got a little Gladiator/Planet Hulk/King Arthur/Count of Monte Cristo vibe. Good stuff!!
Last edited by Eyositer on Sat Jul 16, 2016 2:51 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Darth Kikinou » Sat Jul 16, 2016 2:19 am

Excellent Chewie, excellent! This chapter feels "different" somehow. It's more deliberate than usual and it's one dimensional. Also the writing is more sophisticated (which is not to say that your earlier writing is unsophisticated!) which really lets us grasp Rykrof's longstanding boredom and lack of anything interesting happening for him over these years on that rock. The photography and the sets are phenomenal as always. I was hoping we could see more of his day to day existence though, like where the prisoners live and stuff, the barracks and what not. Maybe next chapter? I'm thinking he's going to be there for a while lol. I found his lethargy against his two aggressors to be uncharacteristic as well, those years there have him pretty beaten down. Hopefully that lightsaber will wake him up! I'm super excited about this arc, I really hope you've got the next part almost ready because it's just not fair to tease us this way again :-) Congrats!
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Choi » Sun Jul 17, 2016 1:46 pm

This was really great! I love the new direction the story has taken and can't wait to see what happens next! And, as always, I am in awe of your incredible diorama work. :D
The newest chapter of my photonovel, Alliance Intelligence, is up! You can check it out here: http://www.yakfaceforums.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=71&t=8296
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Starchaser » Mon Jul 18, 2016 1:13 am

Great new chapter! The planet looks appropriately gritty and the "new" look for Rykrof is excellent for the setting. So many questions to answer...
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Trooper31
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Trooper31 » Mon Jul 18, 2016 7:44 am

Yes, this was a great new chapter in Enloe's Story. I like how this has started out. Great customs, and great sets as well. This is going to be a fun journey with Rykrof.
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Lance Quazar » Tue Jul 19, 2016 3:57 pm

Love it!

This chapter was short, but oh so sweet. The prison planet environment is sensational, one of your most atmospheric dioramas of all time. You really get a sense of the death and desperation that are all around.

And the Rykrof custom is similarly bleak and horrible to behold. We really believe this is a changed man, a shadow of the former hero.

A great start, some fun twists here. Wasn't sure if Rykrof's Jedi heritage would ever come up again - curious to see how that all plays out!

Really love the customs, especially the mysterious man who rescues Rykrof. Is that a Hobbit figure head? An awesome choice for a long-time prisoner.

Love that everyone has matching orange jumpsuits. easily sells the "prison planet" vibe, but you got some great variety here with the tubby Ice Cream Maker guy body or the open shirt from Galen Marek, etc.

The visuals are terrific all around!

And the story, though brief, definitely hooks us in. As always, can't wait to see more!

There's a definite Count of Monte Cristo vibe happening! A wrongfully imprisoned hero (betrayed by a former friend, no less), a brutal prison sentence and help from a mysterious fellow prisoner.

I hope you continue this thread. Would be cool to have a transformed Rykrof return to a galaxy that thinks he's long dead and has moved on.

Cool, cool, cool!
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby YAK_Chewie » Tue Jul 19, 2016 7:40 pm

Seeing all this positive feedback here and on our main page comments section has really uplifted me.

Thank you everyone. I'll respond in kind to each comment soon.

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Utinniii
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Utinniii » Wed Jul 20, 2016 1:14 pm

I really liked this chapter! I read it first and then just looked at the pictures a second time. While I was mostly just looking at your diorama, the photos themselves tell the story, even without the text.
Great job. I'm on tenterhooks for the next installment.
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Re: The 11th Trial: POSTED!

Postby Jodo » Thu Jul 21, 2016 3:10 pm

Knocked it out of the park, as always Chewie!!! :mrgreen:

I've looked at this installment several times now, and the most standout thing is definitely the diorama and custom figure work. Both definitely capture the idea of a super desolate world, and that life is hard there.

As always, your story is great too. The reader can quickly appreciate the change which the character has gone through, and that the jump in time has impacted the story quite a bit. This chapter did seem to go by super quick, but I was also scrolling pretty fast to see the next frame, again and again. :lol: I've always loved the idea of Imperial prisons, so this chapter (and the zombie one from way back) is pretty much tugging on my heart strings. :p

The old man at the end is also really cool. He reminds me of Riddick when Toombs finds him on UV6...Man I wish they would have made figures and vehicles from those movies...

Anyway, great chapter as always man! Is it too soon to look forward to the next installment?
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