The 9th Trial - THE FALL OF BANYSS - POSTED!

[YAK_Chewie]

Another great installment. I love the lighting in these photos. You have some great shots in this chapter!

Thanks as always for the support!

It's about time for me to get to work on new dioramas/sets for the next chapter.

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

What a fun episode. Great dialogue and photos as usual Chewie. Love how the baron has a nephew. Greet choice on a villain's head. The way the helmeted Jedi had his neck broke by vader was awesome. Along the lines of when Indy shot the Cairo swordsman love the scene with freely and the droid head. In the back pack. That was so funny. Great cliff hanger with enloe being kept alive vader's orders

That was delicious. I like how the baron showed cowardice. I really wanted Enloe to kill him. But that would have ended the trip real quick

I like how you give characters different looks. The baron has worn red before but my favorite was the long coat and the at at cmdr armor the collar was aloft me wide but overall nicely done I read this on my phone so I look forward to reading it on a bigger screen later this week. Can't wait to see what happens next

The force awakens is going to have to try real hard to be better than your story chewie

Hey bud, sorry it took me this long to reply!

Glad that you liked the various things that were going on here, with the introduction of Tylin's nephew, the way Vader handled the Jedi, the droid now reduced to just a head that Freelo is handling, Enloe captured, etc.

And yeah, deep down, Tylin is a coward. He wants Rykrof dead now, and only joined the mission to try and ensure that this happened - he didn't expect the tables to be turned. I can say though that his nephew, Vlarra, isn't quite the coward that his uncle is. And I wanted a fresh new look for Tylin in this chapter, he's all about "standing out" from his peers as much as he can.

Thanks again for the very nice feedback and support! I'm starting to toy with how I'll approach the next chapter now.

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

Well, that was dark... Vader and The Empire at their finest. Just dont turn into the George RR Martin of the forums and leave some good guys alive at the end I just love the compositions of the shots and the camera angles - I'm catching myself watching it as movie stills, not thinking about the environment and taking it for real. Which means well done job!

Hey my friend, thank you once again for taking a few minutes to read, and share some thoughts on my efforts!

Yeah, I want to portray the Empire as completely dominant right now, with those that oppose fighting a seemingly hopeless battle. I am planning on the series getting darker and darker for a while with very few bright spots for the characters - and also introducing a slew of new heroes and villains along the way. Also a few familiar faces will pop up from back in the older days of the series, for those that have been reading all along I think you'll be glad to see some surprise returns.

Again - thanks so much for the feedback, I certainly do appreciate it!

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

Good stuff I really like your backdrops they really help draw the reader (or should I saw viewer?) into the scenes. I liked everything the only thing I thought was just off was the body poses of Clorri Lislo. They looked a little awkward to me in some of the pictures. I know how some figures just never seem to pose right so I just chalked it up to that. Otherwise everything looked fantastic thanks for sharing your work with us.

BTW: Ditto on Vader cracking that guys neck.. Owiee... Even I felt that!

Thanks for the feedback - I really appreciate you taking the time to do that.

As for Clorri Lislo, maybe it's the design of the figure - her "skirt" piece starts off right below her breasts, so it's a different design than usual. It may make her posture seem odd.

Again, thank you greatly for sharing your thoughts.

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

I've gotten behind in posting a bit lately.

Another great chapter in the Enloe Saga Overall. I really like how you're showing the might of the Empire in These. This series is what I would have hoped Rebels could have been. Vader taking down the leftover Jedi and not having them escape. I also liked how the trooper did not hesitate to shoot Rykrof. Obviously, for a certain length of time, the Empire dominated the universe. The Rebels did not spend much of a Chance against the Empire at first, so this fact is really coming out in all of this.

Love the Dioramas as well as the wooded area on this planet.

Hello my friend, thank you as always for your support and feedback!

Yep, really trying to show the Imperial dominance, which I hope to do better at moving forward with some image work that is much more grandiose than what I've been doing... like a big Imperial hangar, or something. I need to really raise the bar, I think.

I'm glad you liked the story and scenery too. I love making these things... it's just so difficult to find the free time to work on them.

:wink:

 

[Utinniii]

Hey there! Awesome story!! I just jumped in for this chapter but I will certainly go back and read the rest when I find the time.
It started off really crisp and clean. The photos captured the essence of the story line and I could get a feeling for each character.

I was really impressed with the photos themselves. They really got the message across. I especially like the close ups and how the unnecessary parts are cropped out. For example, Heeme’s ship taking off. We don’t see the entire ship and barely see the soldiers in the background. This made the shot very effective and drew me into the story even though I didn’t know who that person was or if they were important.

I was also drawn in by your excellent painting (weathering) of the ships and buildings. The forest diorama was simply fantastic. What I like about them is the amount of details put into them. It is the little details that make it seem more real.
The poses of every character in each shot convey movement. I knew the Jedi had his neck snapped before I read it, just from the photography. Well done!

The dialogue was pretty good and the descriptions weren’t expository. There were a few places where you wrote “he said” or added description that I didn’t think were necessary. Your photos had already told us that. Other times, your choice of description really helped (he groaned, he sneered) convey emotion.

The only part I wondered about was why Vader said he didn’t want to destroy them. It seemed out of character but then, I missed the earlier chapters.

I’m really looking forward to both seeing what has gone one before and also what happens next!

 

[Darth Kikinou]

I think I forgot to comment but this was phenomenal as always Chewie! Pretty much all the praise I usually bestow applies here too. I was just thinking we could use the next chapter soon?!

 

[YAK_Chewie]

I think I forgot to comment but this was phenomenal as always Chewie! Pretty much all the praise I usually bestow applies here too. I was just thinking we could use the next chapter soon?!

Thanks buddy, as always for the feedback and encouragement.

I've gotten the script complete for the next chapter... been extremely busy with work, holidays, and personal life - but I do expect to have a few previews relatively soon. I've got a few customs I'm finishing up, and I'm trying to figure out how in the world to pull off a new diorama for a new planet in the next chapter that I'm going to make... nothing's ever easy!

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

Hey there! Awesome story!! I just jumped in for this chapter but I will certainly go back and read the rest when I find the time.
It started off really crisp and clean. The photos captured the essence of the story line and I could get a feeling for each character.

Thanks for checking my series out! It's something I've done off an on for over 10 years now!

I was really impressed with the photos themselves. They really got the message across. I especially like the close ups and how the unnecessary parts are cropped out. For example, Heeme’s ship taking off. We don’t see the entire ship and barely see the soldiers in the background. This made the shot very effective and drew me into the story even though I didn’t know who that person was or if they were important.

Yeah, focusing on certain elements in the photos has really helped in the "story telling" aspect as I do that to help the reader focus on what's supposed to be important in each frame. It's a technique I've really tried to use over the past couple years especially.

I was also drawn in by your excellent painting (weathering) of the ships and buildings. The forest diorama was simply fantastic. What I like about them is the amount of details put into them. It is the little details that make it seem more real.
The poses of every character in each shot convey movement. I knew the Jedi had his neck snapped before I read it, just from the photography. Well done!

Again, thank you - those dioramas take quite a bit of planning and time to put together. It's one of the reasons for the huge gaps in between chapters.

The dialogue was pretty good and the descriptions weren’t expository. There were a few places where you wrote “he said” or added description that I didn’t think were necessary. Your photos had already told us that. Other times, your choice of description really helped (he groaned, he sneered) convey emotion.

Dialogue isn't my best area, I just try and keep it simple for the readers while conveying the message. I have found that "wordy" photonovels are just too hard to follow. So I try and make the dialogue as short and to the point as I can...

The only part I wondered about was why Vader said he didn’t want to destroy them. It seemed out of character but then, I missed the earlier chapters.

You mean not destroy Rykrof? Or the Jedi?

As for Rykrof, the two have a history that Rykrof isn't even aware of. He saved Padme once during the Clone Wars and Anakin was very grateful - Vader is also well aware of Rykro'f past "good deeds" and that Rykrof now fighting the Empire really wasn't by choice. He's been drug into the conflict.

I’m really looking forward to both seeing what has gone one before and also what happens next!

Well, I hope you do check the series out. A good place to start is www.photonovelalliance.com - as that has the older chapters I did from the Clone Wars era... Rykrof, Tylin and Tame Heem actually all appear together in the first chapter, which is before the Battle of Naboo! Rykrof and Tylin were once best friends... but an easier starting point may be this chapter - viewtopic.php?f=71&t=6820

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

Thought I'd share a couple previews for the next chapter here...

:wink:

 

[Jodo]

I can't wait to check the next chapter out! Rebel pilots and R1 droids...Two of my favorite things! :mrgreen:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

Thanks - I was able to get most of the pics snapped, but may have to reshoot a scene. The pics just didn't turn out as I had hoped... but, the groundwork is complete (script, new dioramas made, a few new customs, and majority of images taken... lots of editing still to come).

:wink:

 

[Lance Quazar]

Well, Chewie, sorry for the VERY long delay in a response, but what can I say, another terrific chapter.

Lots of really terrific action, amazing dioramas and characters/customs.

Really like the introduction of Gere's nephew as an ambitious and crafty new villain who will nonetheless obviously be a thorn in the side of the old Baron.

Great characterizations with Vader. You always do him justice and he has some dark, vicious moments here, like the neck snap. Brutal! Very sad to see Clorri go, as I really liked that character and custom, but we all knew that was coming.

The comedy duo of Freelo and T-3PO is delightful and I find the endless humiliations of T-3PO to be a nonstop source of comedy.

Still lots more to come with this particular storyline, but it has been so full of great tension, terrific action and surprising twists.

If I had to make one nitpick, it would just be this - it does seem like Ryrkof could have maybe saved those two soldiers from his hiding place when he was spying on Tylin. Obviously, he couldn't kill Tylin because of his family, but it seemed like he might have been able to kill the troopers. Anyway, SUCH a minor nitpick it barely bears mentioning at all.

Delighted there's a new chapter on the way!

Oh, a while back, you told me Vader might one day spare Rykrof's life because Rykrof saved Padme's life way back in an earlier chapter. I wonder if that is still your intent, since that's what occurred to me when Vader said "spare his life." Which would be an awesome call-back to earlier in the series!

Anyway, as always, keep up the marvelous work!

 

[YAK_Chewie]

Well, Chewie, sorry for the VERY long delay in a response, but what can I say, another terrific chapter.

Delays are certainly fine, I'm just happy to have the feedback! You are always so great with your thoughts.

Lots of really terrific action, amazing dioramas and characters/customs.

Thank you, I don't always fill these with too much action but the last two chapters have had quite a bit (at least for this series).

Really like the introduction of Gere's nephew as an ambitious and crafty new villain who will nonetheless obviously be a thorn in the side of the old Baron.

Great characterizations with Vader. You always do him justice and he has some dark, vicious moments here, like the neck snap. Brutal! Very sad to see Clorri go, as I really liked that character and custom, but we all knew that was coming.

Yeah - I've had the idea of Vlarra Gere for a while - I really liked the idea too, and felt now was the right time to introduce him - and try and surprise people at the end of the story with him being related to Tylin. I have a couple of different ways I think the character could develop, but he wasn't there "just to be there" - I've got some vision with the character.

As for Vader, I always feel one needs to be very careful when using established core characters into their own stories. One really needs to ensure that it "makes sense" to include them; not overuse them, etc. I always find fan-fiction characters much more appealing too, so I try and limit the involvement of the establishment characters.

The comedy duo of Freelo and T-3PO is delightful and I find the endless humiliations of T-3PO to be a nonstop source of comedy.

Thanks - glad you are liking how that is playing out. There won't be quite so much comedy in the next chapter but I do intend for those two to develop a friendship over time.

Still lots more to come with this particular storyline, but it has been so full of great tension, terrific action and surprising twists.

Again - thank you - and yes, there's a lot more to come. God willing I'll be able to devote the time moving forward to continue this for a long time.

If I had to make one nitpick, it would just be this - it does seem like Ryrkof could have maybe saved those two soldiers from his hiding place when he was spying on Tylin. Obviously, he couldn't kill Tylin because of his family, but it seemed like he might have been able to kill the troopers. Anyway, SUCH a minor nitpick it barely bears mentioning at all.

No worries, and I had toyed with the idea of Rykrof trying to save those men - but I felt in reality he be more likely to get himself killed there, alerting Imperials to his position, etc. And I wanted him to "sneak up" on Tylin via the trooper gear at the ship. But I guess he could have had the gear on earlier, I dunno?

Delighted there's a new chapter on the way!

Oh, a while back, you told me Vader might one day spare Rykrof's life because Rykrof saved Padme's life way back in an earlier chapter. I wonder if that is still your intent, since that's what occurred to me when Vader said "spare his life." Which would be an awesome call-back to earlier in the series!

Anyway, as always, keep up the marvelous work!

There is another chapter on the way, and it's about 90% complete. It's not a happy chapter by any means; it's going to focus on the reality the small group of rebels are facing - right now, they are completely outgunned by the enemy, what few Jedi were in hiding with Kala are dead, Rykrof is captured, etc. They are beginning to feel this is a hopeless situation and I'm going to try and emphasize that in the next chapter.

You are right on the Padme thing - Rykrof was involved in saving Padme once during the Clone Wars, thwarting an attempt on her life. The hired gun was none other than Traedon Cusiro...

Again - thank you for the feedback - it means so much. I'll also post a few more preview shots this week for the next chapter.

:wink:

 

[YAK_Chewie]

This chapter has now been restored!!!